The Trouble with Temporary Housing

I knew that moving would be an adjustment. I knew it would be a bit lonely at first. And I knew the temporary housing wouldn't really feel like home. I guess I underestimated just how profoundly this all would affect me.

Our temporary housing looks really cool, and it is in a prime location.

But, it's not exactly built for long-term living. We're here for 5 weeks total, and two weeks in, the charms have worn thin. The kitchen is woefully under-equipped, especially given how much I have been trying to cook (both to save money and calories). We only have 4 of everything in terms of plates, flat wear and glasses, which means I run the dishwasher every day. For contrast, I registered for 20 of everything at my wedding, and we continue to fill in our collection with serving platters and bowls. I have burned the shit out of our pyrex dish twice trying to pretend it's a roasting pan. The second time, I had to soak it for three days and scrape it with a knife before putting it in the dishwasher. The meals, thankfully, weren't ruined, but the pan sure looks like they should have been. We had to buy a kitchen knife, because the ones provided are super dull. But, we haven't wanted to buy too much kitchen stuff, as we have everything we need sitting in storage.

The floors throughout the apartment are concrete, save for a super long grey shag rug in the living room. I swear, it looks like they an elderly skinned a muppet to make it.

As I am home most of the day every day as I look for a job and discover the wonders of On Demand television (we have TiVo, and it's incompatible with normal on demand, so I feel like Jasmine in Aladdin - I am in a whole new world), I have been made keenly aware of how hard and cold these floors are. Plus, they are grey, so while I know they are dirty and grime-y, I can't really see where to clean. I tried to vacuum the other day. But, I couldn't get the darned thing to work on the shag carpet. I couldn't push it forward; I could only pull it back. So, I am walking backwards up and down the tiny area rug trying desperately to get up some of the crumbs and muck I know have taken root since our arrival (or perhaps before it). And as I went along, the carpet started to resemble the screen while playing Dig Dug. But, I had to give up when I started to smell burning.

Our washer/dryer is a combo washer and dryer, which means our laundry never dries. It washes fine, but the dry cycle mostly just creates super hot, super damp laundry after 2 hours or more of continual energy usage. Thankfully, the utilities here are not our problem. Both it and the dishwasher seem to leak a little, which would be more worrying if we were here longer.

The clothing storage is also lacking. We have one closet and dresser, which means that we still have a lot of clothes in suitcases that we're unable to unpack.

On the positive side, we do have a cute little balcony outside our living room. BUT, it is right off a park and an office building, so we have had to shoo people off of it more than once. I asked the management company about putting up a sign, but the property manager said all signs need to be approved by the city, and that process takes longer than we will be here. So, I took matters into my own hands and tied a string across the railings for the stairs.

So far, it seems to be working - though it obviously didn't deter some super bold baby squirrels who were running around outside our apartment like crazy the other day - and that was loitering I didn't mind.

I guess what I am struggling with most is being homesick for a place that is no longer my home. I miss my 3 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom townhouse with a private roof deck (and the incredible neighbors we had there). I miss my bed and couch and kitchen tools. I hope that when we move into our real apartment on the 22nd and get back our furniture and other stuff that the Bay Area can start to feel more like home again. Until then, I will continue to MacGyver solutions to what this place is lacking and try to not get too blue thinking about what I've left behind.

Bay Area Pros and Cons

Well, we traveled through 12 states including Virginia and California and finally arrived in Palo Alto. The trip was a fun adventure - we saw the country, saw friends and family, and spent a lot of quality time together. But, all things must end, and now I am here trying to fill my days without spending money.

The temporary housing is right in the middle of Palo Alto. There is plenty within walking distance (including the Stanford Shopping Center, which is super dangerous), and I have been enjoying the perfect Bay Area weather as I get a handle on my new surroundings.

But, now that we're settling into a new routine here, I have quickly been reminded of everything I loved and everything I loathed about living here. We can start with the positives:

The weather is amazing. The persistent drought means lots of sunshine, but thankfully I think the ocean/bay keeps it pretty mild. And the fog is an SF thing - it doesn't really extend to the peninsula.

There is so much good food - especially Asian and Mexican, two areas that were often lacking in DC.

Being in the Pacific Time Zone makes it much easier to talk to my sister (in Los Angeles) and my parents (in AZ which doesn't do daylight savings so is either the same time zone or an hour ahead).

People actually care about the environment here. We have compost in our building, and it's so easy to recycle or compost everywhere. I was always skeptical that our recycling in DC and VA didn't just end up in a landfill. AND, I had to pay to compost in VA.

Friendlier people - it might be the weather or just the laid back west coast vibes (and more lenient liquor laws), but people are just so much nicer here. I have often thought that part of what makes the east coast more uptight is that it was settled by puritans while the west was settled by cowboys!

Proximity to Napa. I love wine, and am especially partial to California wines (though not the super oak-y, buttery chardonnays). So, being a quick drive to Napa will be pretty amazing - but bad for my liver and bank account.

Reconnecting with old friends. I am not the world's best long distance friend - especially when contending with three time zones. But, I've already made plans with many people I was devastated to leave 11 years ago, and they are all excited we're back (or so they tell me 😉). I am thankful they've remained in our lives, and I can't wait to build new memories and traditions with them all.

Now the bad...

It's so expensive. And I don't want to hear anyone from the DC area chime in with "but it's expensive here too." You don't know from expensive until you've lived in the Bay Area. I paid $5 for a 12 ounce iced coffee today, and our rent for an apartment in Redwood City will be more than our mortgage payment for our 3 bedroom 3.5 bathroom house with a roof deck.

Related: We may never be able to afford a house - at least not a house we want. There is very little inventory for housing to begin with, given how many people live and want to live here. So, whenever some teeny tiny little money pit of a home comes on the market, there tends to be an all-out bidding war - and it's even worse when a good property becomes available.

Earthquakes. I know there are extreme weather events and natural disasters on the east coast too (including one mini quake I experienced), but I was in LA for the big Northridge quake in the 90s, and it was a scarring experience. I always thanked my lucky stars I got outta Cali before being in another big one. And now I am back. Joy.

The Bay Area bubble. There is a weird sort of snobbery in the Bay Area. It's almost like a contest to have the most liberal guilt. There aren't many conservatives here (well, many out conservatives), so you don't get the sort of political debate one can expect in DC. I had a lot of friends in DC that I didn't agree with politically, but I really enjoyed discussing the very things we disagreed on. They were informed and astute and weren't basing opinions on news stories (or worse headlines of news stories). People are smart here, of course. But when you live and work in DC - especially if your job touches on the federal government or Congress - you get a deeper understanding of how things work (or don't work as the case may be), and it all becomes less black and white. Here political discourse just feels very colored by the prevailing, deeply liberal ideology.

But, I think what I struggle with most is the fact we've left behind the incredible life we'd built in DC. I will miss the house that we built, painstakingly selecting finishes and details all while trying not to go nuts on upgrades. I will miss the family we created with our amazing friends. I know there is email, and texting, and old-school phone calls (plus the ability to visit), but it isn't the same. We've been through some truly wretched crap over the last couple years, and I don't think I could have made it through without all the love and support from those amazing people. I will miss being able to meet up for lunch, after work drinks, or on the weekend.

But, DC had its negatives too. I won't miss the humidity. I definitely won't miss the bugs. And I won't miss the DC bubble (i.e., DC is the center of the universe, and of course everyone can name several cabinet-level Secretaries - what is wrong with you if you don't know who heads up HHS or Labor or Education?!). Plus, I know that moving here made Eddie incredibly happy, and in our marriage, his joy is my joy. Thankfully, his money is also my money - especially until I find a job!

I guess for now I just need to focus on the positives (and start clipping coupons and putting together my earthquake kit to mitigate some of the negatives). Thankfully, there are quite a few to focus on when I start to get sad.

Do partial blondes have marginally more fun?

We arrived in Phoenix and promptly fully unloaded all of our crap at my parents' house. It was so liberating to check into a hotel with one suitcase - and our hotel in Phoenix was sprawling. To get to our room, we had to go up two flights of stairs, across a bridge, up several more stairs, and then up one more flight of stairs to cross another bridge. There were elevators except for the few stairs after the first bridge. It would have taken probably an hour and several trips to manage it all. So, bless my parents for allowing us to over take their entryway with all of our crap.

We visited with my parents (and put in a load of laundry) and then headed to my favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner with our friends L and D. This Mexican restaurant is probably not a place I would go, had I found it now. It's a total hole in the wall with tacky decors (think velvet paintings) and a layer of grime that will never come up. But it's so so so good. I think it has the best cheese enchiladas of any place I've tried. Yes, there is a pool of grease on the plate when you're done, and the next day is always gastronomically unpleasant, but it's worth it. They also always have cheese crisp, which my Phoenix friends and I have discovered is a totally non-existent thing outside the state of AZ. It's a shame, because it's pretty amazing. It's essentially an open faced quesadilla, but I think they fry the tortilla first. I'm shocked it hasn't caught on elsewhere. It's both crunchy and cheesy, which are America's favorite flavors.

We had a great time with L and D, who are expecting their first baby this month. I've known L for most of my life, but we only became close at the end of high school. Now she's one of my best friends, and I'm excited we'll be geographically closer to her and her little one.  We said goodnight and headed to our hotel, giddy with the knowledge that we wouldn't be getting on the road the next day.

The next morning, we continued our eating tour of Phoenix with breakfast at this place called Snooze that we originally discovered in San Diego. It's probably the best breakfast place ever. It's a small chain with locations in California, Arizona, Colorado, and I think Texas. They make some incredible creations and have insane portions.

After breakfast, we innocently went into Athleta where I accidentally spent $200. In my defense, it was early access to friends and family, so I got 20% off my purchase. Eddie wasn't pleased, but it made me happy.

We dropped my mom off to go in search of a touch less car wash to deal with the insect graveyard that used to be our car. It has to be touch less, because the spinning brush things are harsh on the fancy Tesla paint.

Since we spent some time at my happy place, I obliged Eddie with a trip to Fry's Electronics. He needed an external hard drive to save our dash cam footage, because he wants to do something with all of it when we're done. I'll believe that when I see it, but we didn't have anything else to do that day.

I'm not sure if you've had the pleasure to experience a Fry's, but it's Aztec themed. I love the show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and one of the characters works at a place called Aloha Tech or something. I just thought it was a gag about southern California, but I think it's mocking Fry's. Entering the building reminded me of the Indiana Jones ride at Disney. There are all these fake stones and edifices in and outside of the building. Eddie poked around, and I had to use the bathroom. I have a sneaking suspicion that Fry's doesn't get many female customers. The bathroom had no purse hooks in any of the stalls, the stalls were super tiny, and I don't think they had the AC on in there.

Because of the aforementioned tiny stalls, I used a handicap one where the toilet paper dispenser was on the opposite wall from the toilet, necessitating that I stretch to reach it - all while trying to hold onto my purse with my other hand. 

We left Fry's with my grumbling about the bathroom experience, and Eddie dropped me off for my haircut. The woman who cuts my hair in Phoenix gave me my first haircut and many important pieces of life advice. The most memorable was given when I was in college, and it was that I would never orgasm until the man "made love to my mind." All through college and my first decade in DC, I would fly to get a haircut. She charges me nothing, does a fantastic job, and I don't get haircuts that often. So, I would visit my folks once or twice a year and get my hair done. I don't think it's that weird.

Well, I was ecstatic to see Pilar on this trip and decided I needed some blond in my hair before moving to California. New coast, new 'do, right? So, now I'm partially blond and hoping I'll have marginally more fun!

After my time at the salon, we went back to my parents' house where my mom was making us dinner. I think I may have made my mom's year by requesting that she cook. I don't think I've asked her to make me food for more than a decade. I usually want to hit up my favorite restaurants when visiting Phoenix, and I do a lot of cooking, so I'm not lacking for a homemade meal.

Well, she pulled out all the stops. Not only did I get the fancy rib roast from the kosher butcher in Los Angeles, but we ate in the dining room with the fancy silver. We've been eating out for what feels like two solid months between our farewell tour in DC, our trip to Portugal, and now this road trip. It was really nice to just have a meal that wasn't prepared at a restaurant. My mom also made soup despite it being 104 degrees outside. But she loves her soup, and it would have felt weird not to have it with a meal she had prepared.

After dinner, we went down the street to see the only other high school friend I actively keep up with, E and her husband B. We visited for a bit and had some of her mom's home brewed kombucha. It was delicious, and even Eddie enjoyed it. I might need to pick up a new hobby in California!

Today we loaded up the car to head to Los Angeles. We're nearing the end of our adventures and will imminently embark on our new lives. But, first we'll spend a little quality time in LA with my sister.

Bizarro Phoenix

Albuquerque is a lot like Phoenix. It's got big streets that connect an endless sea of strip malls. A lot of the architecture leans into the southwest thing - desert colors, Pueblo looking exteriors. And the city is also largely surrounded by mountains. But, the names of the grocery stores and restaurants are unfamiliar. So, bizarro Phoenix.

We're staying at a Sheraton here. It's got a Tesla charger and is fine. But apparently it was the site of a kiddie beauty pageant this summer. I discovered that gem when I noticed a schedule of events on our door. Some highlights:

• A Cinderella check in
• Tot personality competition
• And, of course, the casual wear modeling competition.

We went to dinner at an Italian place in a neighborhood called Nob Hill, but I couldn't help but feel like we were in some rebranded, recently gentrified part of town. The meal was pretty good, and the service was very friendly and eager.

Today we leave for real Phoenix, and I'm so excited. First, we get to see friends and my parents. Second, we are staying in a hotel but leaving our excess baggage with my parents. So, when we check into our hotel, we will have one suitcase and a small bag or two - like normal people. Third, we're staying two nights, meaning we get a break from all the loading, unloading and driving. Fourth, I get to eat cheese crisp at my favorite hole in the wall Mexican place.

Mountains make me happy

After having one last super sized meal in Texas at the Ye Olde Pancake Station, we got on the highway to finally leave Texas. But first we had to check out Cadillac Ranch. Just outside Amarillo are several old Cadillacs buried in the ground. Over the years, visitors have taken to tagging them with spray paint, ranging from Banksy wannabees to the standard X+Y in a heart. The cars are so thick with paint that the are bumpy and textured. And the fields around them are littered with hundreds of cans and tops for spray paint that these amateur artists have discarded upon completing their masterpieces (that have subsequently been painted over by some other asshole).

Breakfast - Texas-sized

As we left Texas, we passed a huge cattle ranch that stunk something fierce. The Tesla comes with a bioweapon defense mode. It basically pushes all the air out of the car and then recycles super HEPA filtered air or something. According to Eddie, people mostly use it to clear out farts. We turned it on too late for it to help, and it taxed the AC system to such a degree we had to shut it off in order to not be dangerously low on juice when arriving at our next supercharger. So, we suffered until the stench cleared.

New Mexico had not one but three welcome signs - just in case you weren't sure that you'd actually left Texas after driving through it for hours on end. Slowly the scenery changed to redder rocks and more desert life. The altitude also changed and we started to see real mountains. People from the east coast protest when I say there are no mountains on that side of the country. But I'm sorry, the Smokey Mountains, Appalachian mountains, and others are glorified hills compared to the massive peaks that dominate the western skylines.

We made our way through the changing landscape to Santa Fe. We had lunch and walked around a bit before heading to Albuquerque where we'd spend the night.

42

In addition to being the answer to the universe's biggest question, it is now also the number of states I have visited with our trek through Oklahoma.

Though it's totally flat as far as the eye can see, Oklahoma was quite beautiful. The green fields are dotted with grazing cattle and the big blue sky is broken up by fluffy clouds hanging in the distance. There are also a huge number of wind turbines along the highway (I guess Oklahoma is where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, so it makes sense to harness it).

We stopped in downtown Oklahoma City for some BBQ and to visit the Oklahoma City federal building memorial. It's a beautiful tribute and very moving. They dedicated the last remaining wall from the building to the survivors and have chairs to represent all the dead - including some small chairs for the 19 children who were killed. 

It made me reflect on my time as a federal employee and think about all the kind, wonderful people who dedicated themselves to federal service. And given the current political climate, it made me fearful of other emboldened nut jobs who hate the government and demonstrate that in monstrous ways.

We left downtown and headed west to charge at another outlet mall. This one was much nicer and more lively than the one in Mississippi. We took our time and wandered through some stores before hitting the road once more.

Re-entering Texas felt sort of maddening - like our progress had been undone. But, it's a huge state, and this was not a new plan. We made our way to Shamrock, Texas for our next charge. The supercharger is at an old gas station that still has the old pumps out but obviously not working. When we arrived, it was late afternoon and everything was deserted. The bathroom there gave me the creeps big time. There was a haunted or Bates Motel vibe around the grounds. But, it was cool to see the old cars and gas pumps of a bygone era.

 

 

As we were mid-charge, a car pulled up with a couple greasy and shifty looking young men. One gave me the most unsettling look and wave, and I insisted that we leave immediately. Because we weren't done charging, we had to stay under 70 MPH until we reached Amarillo. But, I just had a bad feeling that we were sitting ducks with a lot of valuables in a very nice car who needed to get the heck outta there. Maybe I was wrong and overreacting. But, maybe I wasn't.

We finally arrived in Amarillo and had a gourmet meal at the Whataburger. Apparently, you can get avocado on your burger there now - classy. I had wanted to go while we were in Texas, so now the random junk food bucket list is complete (Bojangles and Waffle House were the other two). As we dined in our plastic booth, a stray dog wandered past the window, clearly looking for discarded burger bits. By the time we left, he was gone.

Beyond reasonable doubt jesus is alive

We saw a billboard shortly after crossing the Texas  border that read, "Beyond a reasonable doubt, Jesus is alive." I don't think Texans understand reasonable doubt.

As we made our way to Dallas, we  encountered a major storm. It was a little dicey traveling through the driving rain. But, thankfully we made it to Dallas safe and sound.

Our route was primarily motivated by people along the way. Dallas made the list in order to see one of my oldest and one of my newest friends. W and I have been friends since high school. We stayed close through college, and he even went to business school at Berkeley while I was still living there. He was in our wedding, but I hadn't seen him since. He'd been living in Kansas City for a spell and then relocated to Dallas, so I definitely wanted to be able to visit him and his partner A.

When we arrived at their house, we were greeted by their adorable Yorkie, Max. It took a minute for Max to warm up, but I had a fast furry friend. This dog clearly runs the house. They feed him steak and otherwise bend to his tiny yappy whims. As we left to go grab some food, A put on Star Trek for Max. Apparently A watches it when he works from home and has found it soothes the dog when they leave.

Since it was raining and pretty miserable out, we went to the mall. But it's not just any mall; it's apparently the most profitable mall in the country. It's privately owned by this woman who also has an impressive art collection that she displays all around the premises.

Some of the installations 

Warhols

We got some food and wandered around the stores and checked out the various instillations of works by Warhol and others. Since there is no room in the car and I'm basically unemployed right now, I resisted the urge to buy anything (well, I bought some pods for our Nespresso machine that we're currently hauling across the country and a travel mug as I realized all of mine are on a moving truck, but I walked away from many gorgeous shoes and dresses).

After the mall, Eddie and I went to check in to our hotel. For most of this trip, we're in Hilton Garden Inns and the like. But, in Dallas, we stayed at the Omni. It was conveniently located and had a Tesla charger. I was excited for a little luxury. Our room was nice if small and the building looks impressive. But, after two weeks in Portugal with impeccable service at high-end establishments, the Omni was a let down. But I'll get to that in a bit.

For dinner that night, we went to a place that was "very Texas" called Stampede 66. What sold us among the various choices outlined by W was the table side margarita. They take tequila, Cointreau, and prickly pear juice and mix it with liquid nitrogen to freeze it table side. Then, they top it with a lime foam that is sort of like whipped cream. Apparently there is usually someone who just does these and it was not our server. But for whatever reason, she opted to make them for us. She set out to make four in one batch but grossly underestimated the amount of juice needed. So, the first two she made didn't quite freeze and were super boozy. Eddie and I took those ones. 

The food was really good. I got fried chicken, and Eddie got brisket. The food is Texas with a foodie flair, and both dishes were excellent. And the margarita made it all taste even better...

As W and A dropped us back at our hotel, I realized just how much I miss W. This guy walks past us as we are saying our goodbyes in a neon tank top and jean shorts. He's tatted up and looks... unkempt. W and I exchange looks and start cracking up. Yes, it's mean. But Eddie never even notices the unwashed masses or other human oddities let alone joins me in my petty judgments. Sigh. So, that was clue one that the Omni isn't as upscale as it fancies itself. And while they cannot control who their clientele is, they can control the level of service they give that clientele. And they level they chose is unimpressive.

We had plans to see a friend for brunch before we hit the road on Sunday, and I thought we could do a late check-out to allow us to leave our stuff safely in the room. Well, apparently if we wanted more than an hour, it was going to cost us $60. As brunch was at 10:30, we opted to just check out beforehand.

So, it's Sunday morning, and we call down to guest services to ask the valet to bring the car and the bellman to bring up two luggage carts. Eddie calls twice, letting it ring for a solid minute each time. No answer. So, I go downstairs to request the car and fetch a bellman with carts. The valet assures me he'll bring the car around, and the bellman follows me up. While the bellman did his job, the valet didn't. We get downstairs about 7 minutes later, and they haven't even gone to get the car yet.

While Eddie waits for the car with the bags, I get in line to check out. Just as I am next in line and one of the 2 people working frees up, a colleague goes up to the free front desk person to attempt something that had never been attempted before with cash. Or, I assume it had never been attempted before given how long it was taking. When the woman working the front desk frees up, instead of letting me check out, now the other guy has roped her into whatever task he was working on.

We finally got loaded up and met one of our newer friends, J, for brunch. We went to this really great place in downtown called Saint Ann. It's below a museum, so there were some pretty interesting samurai touches by the bathroom.

After a delicious brunch, we got on the road to Oklahoma.